Chiefmag.com and Mr. Dinosaur present:

Mr. Dinosaur Drives to Mongolia —The Benefit Party

Team Mr. Dinosaur is Brooklyn’s best hope for the Mongol Rally,
a 10,000-mile race across 15 countries, from England to Mongolia, in a piece-of-crap car!
To help raise a bit of money, and in case we don’t make it back alive,
we’re throwing a massive going-away benefit party— Mongol-style!

Open bar! Dale’s Pale Ale and Zwack liquor from 8pm to 10pm—arrive early and thirsty.

• Ride Genghis Khan’s world-famous meat saddle!
• Suckle fermented milk from the yak!
• Make out with a famous dictator!
• Experience the manly art of Mongolian wrestling!
• Unravel the enigma of KGB mystery shots!
• Predict our demise to win 175,000 Mongolian Tugrugs in cold hard cash!
• Dance like a monkey to globe-trotting beat-jockeys!

$8. Wednesday, June 27, 8pm–2am
Glasslands Gallery in Williamsburg, Brooklyn
289 Kent Avenue, between South 1st and South 2nd Streets
L train to Bedford Avenue
get directions

Our T-shirt design was finally decided upon! We decided to go with a one-color line-art version of the design. They’ll be available at our party! After the party, we’ll post how you can order one through the Web site. YAY!

And now on a more serious note: The homestretch is here, and we only need to raise another $185 for charity. If anyone would still like to donate, and get a sweet, sweet tax write-off, please click here. Remember, if children starve, it’s your fault. Look how hungry these kids are! Don’t you want to see them happy? Don’t you?

I have ridden the meat saddle, and all I must say is this: Be afraid. Be very, very afraid. And invest in some dry cleaning. See you Wednesday night, y’all.

Sweet hockey sticks! Last week I went into a traveler’s clinic to get myself pumped full of protective juice, so bacteria and other varmints don’t turn my innards to soup, forcing my fellow traveler’s to send my remains home in Campbell’s Soup cans. Now, the vaccines for Hepatitis A and B, typhoid and tetanus are circulating inside my bloodstream, forming a fortress against invasive viruses. Bring it on, rusty nails: I’m ready.

Who likes to party? YOU like to party! And we are going to provide you the opportunity to shake your moneymaker and get incorrigibly drunk on June 27 (that’s a Wednesday, y’all) at the Glasslands Gallery in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Ooh! We’re trendy!

Expect to make out with tyrants (who knew Genghis Khan was such a smoocher)! Ride the infamous Mongolian meat saddle! Ingest mystery shots! Slug back open-bar beer! Suckle fermented milk from a yak! And dancedancedance, like the sweet monkeys we all are inside.

More details soon, but mark the date on the calendar. It’s gonna start postwork, providing everyone the chance to get good and sloppy early on, so they can pass out by their bedtime.

Like Carmen Sandiego, just where in the world has Mr. Dinosaur been? You vicarious thrill-seekers would be surprised to know that we’re a responsible lot, and we’ve been attending weddings (Andrew swears that dozens of chaste bridesmaids were enamored of his flashy style, which consists of wearing whatever he finds in the dumpster) and watching our siblings graduate from institutions of higher learning.

But now we are back in this gritty city, and have a little less than six weeks before we embark on our folly. Man, I was just starting think that this trip was nothing but a way for me to be interesting at cocktail parties. But alas, no, we really do have to drive 10,000 miles. To Mongolia. Where I will suckle freshly fermented yak’s milk. And try to remember why this trip was a good idea in the first place.

Anyhoo, expect big announcements this week. We’re getting T-shirts printed! And we’re having a party, where you will likely get drunk enough to give us money. Money! Oh, sweet money. I am spending another $400 this week to receive a bevy of shots that will, hopefully, prevent me from acquiring colorful diseases that will kill me. Or make me lose organs and appendages I still find useful. Goddamn I love my big toe.

At long last, Mr. Dinosaur has a car!

We managed to procure a 1994 Subaru Justy 4WD in the town of Richmond, North Yorkshire, England for a cool £295 ($585). It’s no Rolls-Royce, but we’re stoked nonetheless. Click below for pictures and more info.

Check out our car!

I spent a large chunk of time today wondering how the hell we’re going to get through Kyrgyzstan. The result is a set of locations in the form of a Google Earth tour posted to our route page. You can load the points into Google Earth and play a fly by of most of the cities we’ll pass through on our journey.

Click here to download the zipped .KMZ file

(Obviously, you’ll need to install Google Earth for this to work)

This family
This guy
This rosy cheeked kid
This guy and his parrot
A Tuvan throat-singer
A yak milkmaid
George W. Bush’s Elite Eastern Guard
John Wayne dressed as Genghis Khan